Sad, but true
It’s been a time of change… again. No sooner have I begun to adapt to one new set of parameters when, flash, bang, hey presto, something else comes along to keep me on my toes.
Those who know me will know I have been a yoga person for most of my life. It helps focus the crazy mind and tones the old frame. Last Saturday I was doing my early morning session standing on my head (I love seeing the world upside down - it puts it all in a very different perspective!) I felt something move in my chest. Not a recreation of the scene from Alien but a feeling that my heart rate had changed. I know some will say ‘Well, if you stand on your head what do you expect?’, but even after half an hour of relaxation and meditation it still felt changed and odd. I phoned 111 and they recommended A&E. The following hour found me in Countess of Chester Hospital ACU wired up to monitors and a rather unsettling time watching my heart rate on the monitor going fast one minute and slow the next. I only needed to raise a hand and it accelerated as though I was running a marathon. And it was taking ages to go back down again. The strange thing was that apart from being slightly aware of the change in my chest, I had no other symptoms at all. No pain, dizziness, no abundant perspiration. Nothing. Just a trembly feeling whenever I did anything other than lie supine in the hospital bed. So they kept me in. Four days followed waiting for the daily doctors’ rounds to find out what was wrong and in between blood pressure checks, blood tests, scans and X rays.
I was very well cared for. All the staff, from clinical, cleaning, catering, were polite and considerate and they showed genuine compassion for all the patients and calm professionalism in everything they did. I was very impressed. No wonder we clapped them. They deserve more than clapping.
Anyway the upshot for me is that they don’t really know what it is. It has a name - ‘atrial fibrillation’ - but this is a description rather than a diagnosis. The cardiologist had no idea of what might have caused it. I don’t drink alcohol, I’ve given up coffee, I don’t smoke and I’m veggie. But I do leap around and push myself. And I am 71 so it’s probably just an age thing. Apparently the danger is not a heart attack but a stroke, caused by the blood moving differently creating the possibility of a clot leading to a stroke or worse. So blood thinning tablets and beta blockers (to slow the heart). They let me out with strict instructions to take it easy and to attend the coronary outpatients clinic for a follow up in two weeks.
The words ‘Mr Alexander’ and ‘take it easy’ do not sit comfortably in the same sentence. But I am being looked after with the same compassion, care and consideration that I had in hospital. More actually.
The heart has settled down in the week since I was released, but the whole affair has given me yet another cause for contemplation. Like so many things recently. And I have made some decisions about the shows which you will not surprise you.. I am going to only do a few local shows this summer. I don’t want to travel the vast distances that I have done previously, criss-crossing the country in a mad dash to keep up with my ego. So some of the favourites will miss me. Principle amongst these is the Isle of Wight Steam Show, the four day end of summer celebration in Havenstreet which is to proceed this year. I have loved attending that show which has seen me on the South Island every year (pandemic years excepted) for many many summers. But all my instincts have been telling me not to go this year. A week away from family, working day and night, performing in the end of summer heat and trying to keep up with all the things I have done before. Balancing on chairs and throwing knives around. I wouldn’t want an addition to the main arena events there being the arrival of the air ambulance to whisk me away to Southampton General.
I know we’ve all had this year to take time out, but we’ve had no choice. This is different. This time is personal choice and a health necessity. So that’s it. I shall do a few local shows to see if I still can do it. I will take it easy. I’ll try not to balance on chairs.
No sooner had I sent the sad letter to tell them when the phone rang. A call from Queen Victoria (in the guise of Rita Clews of Ilfracombe) who all those years ago had knighted me on Havenstreet Station at the Victorian event they used to host there. She has retired from touring and was phoning to make sure I was ok and to talk through a few memories. I took it as a sign that I’d made the right choice. Sad but right.
I’ll carry on the blog, of course, and keep you up with my thoughts, despite, at least for now, being parked up metaphorically in a quiet layby watching world whizz by.
All the best from a road near you,
Mr Alexander